Broken Promises
by yazcemien
Summary: I was leaving for another country. "I'll wait for you," I remember you saying. "Five years is nothing. Have faith in me." Was that all a lie, Natsume? Because you weren't there when I came back. NxM


**yazcemien**

[Story of a Teenage Girl - Oneshot]

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**Dedication**

This is for my sister, whose life story this is based on.

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**Warning:** A lot of dialogue, little description. Author is a fail at describing things with great detail. A total, utter failure.

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I had a great boyfriend – the best you could ever ask for. Although he was stubborn, egoistic, and simply the biggest jerk I've ever met, he was sweet, smart, loyal, huggable, lovable, squeezable, squish-able, and last but _definitely_ not least, he was kissable. Boy, that tongue of his does wonders.

I met him when I was fourteen. He was a year older than me. We were both in Junior High and we were both excelling in our classes. He took the number one spot, and I came a close second. Needless to say, we were immediate rivals. I wanted his spot, and he was doing everything he can to retain it. Though neither would admit, we enjoyed the competition. Both of us would secretly sneak glances at each other, just to find out what the other was doing. Okay, so maybe_ I_ sneaked glances at _him, _but I'd like to think he returned the favor, too.

We were M. U. M. U. stands for 'Mutual Understanding', meaning that we knew that we liked each other, but no one made a move to escalate our relationship to the next level. He was protective of me, and I get jealous when he talks with other girls. Every boy stayed away from me, and girls knew that they couldn't hit on him and be successful, because he had _me. _So we had very little need to make our relationship official. We were acting like we were together, so really, we didn't get what the point was.

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"You guys look so good together!"

I rolled my eyes. Like I've never heard _that _before. "Permy, what's your point?"

She flicked her hair back behind her shoulders. "I never really understood why you guys don't date."

"It's none of your business," came Natsume's retort. He lowered his head and stuck his hands in his pocket.

"Natsume!" I beamed, suddenly realizing that my best friend was right beside me. I jumped on him and gave him a hug.

He buried his face in the nook of my neck. "Hey babe." he whispered.

I smiled and stood up, straightening myself up.

"See?" Sumire snorted. "You guys are acting like boyfriend and girlfriend already. The only thing left is to make it _official_."

I made a face. "Like that's ever gonna happen."

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I didn't know that he wanted to make it official. I really didn't. I was naíve and oblivious. I didn't know that everytime I brushed away the subject of making it official, he was hurting deep inside. He never showed any emotions. Can you blame me? But I was too late when I realized. He was drifting away from me, and he blamed it on his 'studies'. But come on, we were on the same year level and were in different classes, but still, I knew for a fact that teachers didn't give us that much homeworks back then, so he can't blame it on his studies anymore.

I text him every time I get the chance to - like I usually do - but he doesn't reply. I email him, but I receive no answers. I was verging on tears one night, when my phone suddenly rang.

"Hello?"

_"Polka," _

"Natsume?"

_"Yeah..." _

"Natsume!" I beamed, a smile spread across my face. "How have you been? We haven't talked in a long time! How's your studies? You're still up top, right? I hope you're not slacking off. Once you slack off, you know I'm gonna dive for that number 1 spot! Oh my gosh, I'm so happy you called me. Finally I get - "

_"Polka," _he interrupted. _"I only called to ask you if you wanted to come to my birthday party this Saturday."_

I gasped. "Shit! I forgot! It's your birthday this Thursday!" I snickered. "See what I did there? I rhymed it."

_"So are you coming?"_

"To your birthday party?"

_"Yeah."_

"Where is it?"

_"Ruka's house, it's a pool party." _

"Do I bring a swimsuit, then? A bikini!" I exclaimed.

He paused. _"No. Not a bikini. Bring a one-piece." _

I snorted. "I don't want to look like a granny, Natsume."

_"It's either you bring a one-piece or you're not invited." _

I gaped. "Fine!"

_"See you there." _Then he hanged up.

I sighed. "See you," I whispered.

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I knocked on Ruka's door, excited to see Natsume again. It has been, well, approximately 12 days since the last time I saw him. I was scared that our friendship might be in jeopardy. Natsume wouldn't break our friendship, would he? He wouldn't, right? He promised me.

I saw the door slightly open ajar. Ruka's head popped out. "Oh, hey, Sakura!"

"Ruka-pyon!" I beamed, trying with all my might to refrain myself from jumping up and down.

He opened the door a bit wider, exposing the hundreds of people behind him, partying and talking without a care in the world. "Come on in!"

"Thanks," I smiled as I walked into his house. I widened my eyes involuntarily. "The music is so loud!" I shouted, hoping that Ruka heard what I said.

"Yeah," he shouted back, pointing to his ear. "I'm deaf already."

I laughed. "Hey, where's Natsume?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, taking a look around. "He's _somewhere_."

I bit my lips. "Oh, alright. I'll just go and try to find him."

He gave me a thumbs up. "Alright!"

I couldn't remember how long I looked for him, but it took a more time than I thought. I looked right, left, front, back. I looked up, down, diagonaly, every possible crook and cranny that he could've hidden from. Where was he? Even if I asked Ruka, he wouldn't know either, would he? I groaned in frustration. I looked left and right, again, just to make sure I didn't miss a corner.

"Try upstairs,"

Upon feeling a tap on my shoulders, I whipped my head around, only to collide my forehead with Ruka's. "Ow," I squeaked.

He mimicked me, holding his forehead like it was going to fall off. "Ow!"

"I'm so sorry!" I apologized quickly.

"No," he said, waving me off. "It was my fault, startling you like that." he smiled. "Try looking upstairs if you're running out of places to look for Natsume. He might be up there, resting. He said he had a tough day."

I snorted. "It's his birthday party! He shouldn't be lazing around!"

"Tell me about it." he said, making a face.

I laughed, patting him on the back. "I'll go look for him, Ruka-pyon."

"Yeah, and get his ass down here to party!"

"Alright," I giggled. "Will do!"

I turned around and walked up the stairs, gliding my hands on the railing, feeling like the princess that I knew I would never be. I slowed down my pace, for some reason, prolonging my adventure to find Natsume.

"Mikan-chan!"

I turned my head around, looking for the source of the voice. "Anna-chan!" I smiled, watching her run her way up the stairs towards me. She gave me a hug and held me at arm's length.

"I haven't seen you for a while! How have you been?"

"I've been good," I lied. "I'm on my way to look for Natsume, wanna come?" I asked, cocking my head to the direction of where I thought the rooms were situated at.

"Sure."

I smiled. I grabbed her hand and ran up the remaining steps. I looked to the left, then to the right, and ran to the first door I saw. I opened it, and clear, white tiles said hello... metaphorically. "The toilet." I cursed. I closed the door and walked to the one beside it.

"Try that door!" Anna said, pointing to a door opposite to the one I was planning to open.

I shrugged. "What's the harm?" I whispered. I slowly walked over to the said door, and twisted the knob.

"Wait!" Anna called. "It's rude! Knock first, Mikan-chan!"

"Fine," I sighed, rolling my eyes. I knocked three times, ready to walk away just in case Natsume wasn't inside.

When no one answered, Anna nudged me. "Knock again."

I cringed. "No one's inside. Let's try another door."

"No," she shook her head. "Try this one. I've got a feeling that Natsume-kun's inside."

I knocked again, lacking the knack to argue.

"Wait, I hear something," Anna said, pushing her index finger against her lips, making the universal sign of, 'shh'. About a second later, the door slightly opened ajar, and I heard whispers coming from the inside.

"Hold on," a voice said. "Just wait a minute."

"Put your clothes back on!" said another voice.

I skipped a heartbeat. It better not be Natsume behind that door.

"Oh my gosh," Anna gasped. "Natsume-kun is that you?"

The door opened wider, and Natsume's head popped out. "Yes?"

I clenched my jaw. I studied his face, from his eyes, to his nose, to his mouth, to his chin, then back to his eyes, then to his nose, to his mouth. I studied his face over, and over again, just to make sure that it _was _Natsume that I was looking at. He looked ragged.

"What happened to you?" I gaped, staring at his chin, where a hint of beard was showing.

He chuckled and looked at me with lazy eyes. "What do you mean what happened?"

"Are you stoned?" I asked, ready to slap him. I clenched my fists. "Are you?"

He snorted. "Why do you care?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I snapped.

He threw the door completely open and stepped towards me. "You're asking what's wrong with _me _now?"

I stared at him. My eyes traveled downwards. "You don't have your shirt on..." I whispered.

He rolled his eyes. "No shit sherlock." He crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.

I pursed my lips together. "You don't have your shirt on..." I repeated.

"Mikan-chan," Anna said, wrapping her arms around mine. "Let's just go."

I wiggled her off of me. "Who's behind you, Natsume?" I demanded, trying to hold back the tears. "I know someone's back there with you. Who is it?"

"None of your business!" he shouted.

"It _is _my business! You're my best friend! I'm supposed to _care_!" I cried.

"_Former _best friend." he corrected.

I gaped. "What's the supposed to mean?"

"I demote you," he said. "I demote you from being my best friend."

I clenched my jaw. "You can't demote me."

"I just did."

I pursed my lips together. "Fine," I shrugged. "Fine. Do whatever you want, Natsume. Be a child. Be immature. I don't care. I'm _done _with you. I'm sick of trying to make this work. If you don't want to be friends anymore, fine! I don't _care _anymore! Go rot in hell!" I turned around and stormed off, but after a few steps, I think I heard a sound that remotely resembled a slap.

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I wanted a beer real bad. I've never drank one before, but I just had this sudden urge to break my own rules and just have a little sip of that alcoholic beverage. Whatever. I didn't care anymore. Why should I?

"Ruka," I called out, waving for him.

"Sakura?" he squinted his eyes. He must be drunk. He laughed. "Hey!"

"Where's the beers?"

He tilted his head to the right, as if what I just said didn't make any sense. "What?"

"Beers," I repeated. "Where are they?"

He laughed. "I dunno." he shrugged.

"Then how come you're drunk? Where did you get the beer?"

He laughed. "I have no idea."

"He's probably not the best guy to ask around here."

I turned around, finding myself talking to the guy that I specifically didn't want to talk to tonight. "What do you want?" I asked quite grumpily.

"A beer? Really, Mikan? Since when have you been drinking?"

I rolled my eyes. "And since when did you have your clothes on, huh?"

"Since I kicked the girl out of my room," he retorted. "What's wrong with you?"

I snorted. "What's wrong with _me_? You were the one that was stoned!"

"I had my _reasons_, Mikan," he hissed. "Can we talk outside?"

I glared at him, not exactly wanting to be alone with him at the moment. I was still pretty furious with the whole 'demoting' thing. "No."

He rolled his eyes. He grabbed my hand and proceeded to drag me outside into the parking lot just beside Ruka's house. He pushed me against a new-looking red sports car and placed his arms beside my head. I was cornered. "What's wrong with you?" I shrieked, trying to get away from him. It only made him get closer to me more, however. We were inches apart. We were so close, that I could hear his heartbeat... or was that my own?

"I like you."

I blinked. "What?"

"I like you."

"Say that again?"

"I like you."

"I can't hear you."

"... Are you doing this on purpose?"

I laughed. "Natsume, I know you like me, like you know I like you too."

"You like me?" his eyes widened, as if a ghost suddenly appeared right in front of him.

I rolled my eyes. "And I thought I was the stupid one."

He smiled that smile that he rarely gives. I was one of the lucky few who's permitted to glance upon his heavenly teeth. It was so rare, that girls try to take a picture of it whenever it pops up... but he smiles at _me_, and I'm fortunate enough to know that he trusts me.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

I smiled a gentle smile, looking away at the distance. "I thought we agreed on just being friends?"

"Not me. Only you. I never agreed to it, Mikan. Never."

"Lie!" I laughed. "You agreed too!"

He sighed. "Look, if you don't want to become my girlfriend, it's fine. I don't want to force you. But I'd really like it if you'd accept."

I laughed. "Have you been taking acting classes? 'Cause it sure is working!"

"... It is?"

"Crap! You've been taking acting classes?" I asked in all seriousness.

He paused. "... No, of course not! That's only for gay people."

I stood on my tiptoes and ruffled his already messy hair. "You're so adorable, Natsume," I smiled. "And because of that, I accept." Let's not go on the detail on how happy Natsume was. It will greatly reduce his pride. We don't want that now, do we?

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"Mom, I'm home!" I shouted, dropping my bag on the kitchen table. I looked around the living room. "Mom, what's going on?" I called out, my voice starting to shake. Everything was in a box. _Every_. _Single_. _Thing_. The television was no longer there. The table and chairs were stacked up with plastic bags covering it. There wasn't a single picture frame that I could spot.

"Onee-chan!" my little sister came out of nowhere and jumped up to hug me. I caught her in my arms and swung her around. "We're moving, nee-chan! We're moving!"

"Moving?" I laughed. "Moving houses?"

"No, onee-chan! Moving! We're really moving! Out of Japan!"

"Out of Japan?" my eyes widened. "Where to?"

"America, onee-chan! Mom and dad said it's a beautiful place! With lots of trees and clear blue sky!" she beamed.

I gently put her down. My heart started to beat faster and faster. Please tell me that my little sister is joking. Please, please, please.

"Oh, Mikan, you're home."

"Mom! Please tell me Makuyo is joking! Please!" I begged, running towards her. I knelt down on the floor and grabbed her hand, looking up into her eyes. "_Please_."

She sighed and pulled me back up. She hugged me, but said nothing. Words could no longer comfort me, she figured.

"Mom! Please tell me she's joking!"

"She's not, Mikan. We _are _moving."

"To another house, right? We're just moving to another house, _right_?" I cried.

"Oh honey," Yuka sighed, hugging me. "I'm so sorry."

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"I'll wait for you."

"What?"

"I'll wait for you."

After an hour of crying, trying to explain my situation to him, this is what I get? He wasn't even trying to stop me from leaving! He wasn't even trying to comfort me! 'I'll wait for you', did he think that was enough? "Stop joking, Natsume. My mother said we'd stay there for at least five years."

"So? Five years is nothing."

"Oh please," I snorted. "I of all people know that you're not _that _patient."

He lifted his arms and draped it around my shoulders, bringing my head against his. "Come on, don't you have faith in me?" he smirked. "I'll wait for you, I promise."

"You... you really mean that?" I asked, a smile beginning to show.

"Of course," he smiled. "Five years is nothing."

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I remember that day vividly, the day he promised me that he would wait for me for five whole years. I truly believed him. I mean, he was Natsume, my best friend, my boyfriend, my lover. What stupid idiot wouldn't trust him?

It turned out, that question should've been the other way around. What stupid idiot _would _trust him? Me.

Of course, when I saw the picture of him kissing a girl, he denied and denied. It wasn't like I wasn't expecting it, you know. Natsume was the kind of guy that just can't live a month without touching a girl inappropriately, and with me out of the country, who else is he going to touch? I understood his needs, I really did. I tried to look past all his cheating, all his lies, but after the twenty fourth girl, I had enough. I couldn't take the pain anymore. He was ripping my heart apart, and he didn't even know. What was I supposed to do? We were oceans apart, and I didn't have enough money to visit him. Our relationship was heading to ruins. I had no choice but to end it.

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**Flame Boi says: **Sup!

**Miikan says:** Hey Natsume. :)

**Flame Boi says: **How was your day

**Miikan says: **Not much...

**Flame Boi says:** That's cool...

**Miikan says: **And can we talk?

**Flame Boi says:** What do you think we're doing right now?

**Miikan says: **Haha right.

**Miikan says: **Let's break up.

**Flame Boi says:** What?

**Miikan says:** Let's break up.

**Flame Boi says: **LOL funny. I swear I read "Let's break up".

**Miikan says:** Natsume, let's break up.

**Flame Boi says:** ... why?

**Miikan says: **It's not working out.

_Flame Boi has signed out._

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I didn't hear from him anymore after that. He never went online, and I stopped receiving daily photos of him from his friends, who were supposedly my "spy". Our connection totally stopped, and I had no idea what happened. I was left alone in the dark, and I wished I knew what was going on. No one would tell me, not even Sumire, the biggest gossip-girl in town.

Years passed, and I still haven't heard from him. From time to time, as ashamed as I was, I forgot about him. I forgot our memories together, I forgot everything. It was as if a spell was cast over me, telling me to "forget everything you knew about Natsume Hyuuga". It scared me, because I didn't want to forget him. He was the best thing that ever happened in my otherwise dull life.

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Have you ever felt that there was something bad that's going to happen that day? Have you ever felt that no matter how good you felt that day, there's just something wrong that's going to happen, _sometime _in that day? I have, many, many times. Every single one of those times, I always thought something bad was going to happen to _Natsume_, but I never got to find out if what I thought was true, since all my connections to him was _cut off_. It pained me. I cried myself to sleep in no less than five occasions because of it. I never knew that one day, my gut-feeling would be true.

If the Devil can send you a letter, mine came in a form of an email.

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**To:** Sakura Mikan

**From:** Nogi Ruka

**Subject:** Hey…

**Body:**

Mikan, hey, how are you doing? It's been a long time since we made contact. I missed having you around. And although Natsume wouldn't say, I'm sure he missed having you around, too. Actions speaks louder than words, as they say. I agree.

Ever since you left, Natsume was in a state of mess. I bet you're thinking about his dorm room with his bed undone and will clothes everywhere, right? No. Worse.

Natsume started sleeping around. Every few days in a row, he would come home at midnight, and I would hear a girl giggle now and then. I was his flat mate, albeit I was in the other room, we had thin walls. I heard everything. Every month, he would have slept with twenty different girls as one-night-stands. Well, he never gave me permission to blabber about it, so I kept my mouth shut. But now it's just too much to keep it in.

He started being a stoner, too. He would break a limb just to get a stash. That's how bad it's gotten. I think he was trying to forget about you. He wouldn't allow any of us to mention your name, or he'd go berserk, then he'd hit the stash again. In the end, we stopped saying your name. Mikan, or even Sakura, was a forbidden name in our dorm. It was hard, since at first, everyone wanted to tell a little tale about you, whether it be a time you were being a klutz, or when you were in a particularly funny situation, Natsume would never allow it. It's either we stop saying your name, or he'll continue taking drugs. What choice did we have?

We got used to it, however. But that didn't stop Natsume from taking drugs, either. He was addicted. He _couldn't _stop. I tried to help him, but who was I to make a difference? I think that if you were the one that was here, he would have some courage to at least try and stop. But you weren't here, so he continued to take drugs. We were all worried for him, Mikan. I was dead scared for Natsume. I really thought that if he kept on going like that, he would die.

Well, he did.

Three weeks ago, Natsume was found dead lying on the bathroom floor. Some say it was suicide, some say it was an accident. We don't know what exactly happened, but I think that he died because he was missing _you_.

It took me three weeks to get myself together; to finally cease the pain I felt; to finally have the courage to send you this email. To be honest, I hate you right now. I really do. I think you're a selfish, little girl that don't give a crap about anything but yourself. How can you do that to Natsume? And not knowing is not an excuse. You could have called him once in a while, Mikan. You could have came back once in a while, just to check how he's been. If you did that, then maybe he would still be with us now. But it's too late, isn't it? Natsume's dead, and we can't do anything to reverse that fact.

-Ruka.

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Natsume, you broke your promise. Why didn't you wait for me?

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**Jed Matthew Racellis.**

**1988 - 2006**

You will be missed. No, scratch that. You _are _missed.

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/End


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